They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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