Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
