yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
