I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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