I'm really into asian looking animals
thus making me awesome and them whores
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
