i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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