You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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