There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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