at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
