Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize