Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
