She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize