No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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