so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
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In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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