addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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