I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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