Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
