Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
smell my finger.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He better not be in your backpack
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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