He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize