She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
