He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
