I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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