I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
