I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize