New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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