Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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