Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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