i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
