I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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