yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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