She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize