You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize