I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
