brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
