when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
