i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
