Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
