At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
