I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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