You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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