Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
