She's JV to your varsity
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
