doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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