I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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