My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
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Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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