He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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