Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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