I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
