Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize