I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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