one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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