ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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