Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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