I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
