She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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