Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
