youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
