I cannot find my penis.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
did i walk over a car last night?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I pour the whiskey from now on
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
