need another drink. this is the easiest way
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
bring money and cleavage
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat