I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
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There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind