What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.