I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.