none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.